Just a quick note to say that I hope everyone enjoyed their Christmas, good eats, great company and stayed safe and all that stuff. I'm a little jealous of J' at the moment because he's only work 1 day this week, while I've only had 1 day off. Such is life, it's like they like to say, suck it civilians. The only up-side is that he has to do Daddy Daycare for most of those days because the daycare is closed too.
Other than that Santa was very nice to me and to the Moo. I got a crimson edition DS complete with matching case, and Brain Age 2 and the Sims 2 Castaway. Moo Moo got a lot of toys and crayons with a baby grip. Her favorite so far seems to be the talking sing-a-long piggy bank. She just plopped herself down on the carpet and played with it for most of the afternoon.
Next up is New Year's day, which should be less stressful than Christmas (I put too many cloves in the ham, had to do the biscuits at the last minute, and left the whole stick of margerine out of the corn casserole). I hope all of next week is pretty low-key so that I can actually enjoy my two-week break from school!
Stay safe everyone, see you next year!
Christmas, pt. 3
Most of the time these days I feel like I'm treading water and trying to keep my head up. Paradoxically, blogging is generally good for the soul but then the Catch-22 is that you often don't want to blog about what's on your mind because it's so personal. So here I am. I feel bad burdening my friends, I feel bad talking about my feelings in generally, and of course, once you get to that point not too many options are left. So here I am.
Yesterday would've been my parents' 26th wedding anniversary had my mom been alive. Dec. 12 just adds another rough day to the Christmas season. I enjoy Christmas, like the fog this morning really had me in a holiday mood, but I'd love more than anything if my mom could see our Christmas tree and our other holiday decorations. I'd love to tell her where I found all the ornaments... the way I bonded at the clerks at the Walgreens on Airline in Bossier City because I kept going back to get the decorations I needed. How I found our gorgeous mocha-chocolate complexion tree-topper angel in an off chance visit to K-Mart because our friend's 4-year-old threw up at dinner and needed a change of clothes. How I lucked out and walked into Dillards during military appreciation day and got 15% off the "Baby's First Christmas" ornament and how I wasn't afraid to perch on the roof stringing Christmas lights on a Sunday afternoon.
And that's just the tip of the iceberg.
What makes it even harder is that I know things really aren't so bad. I know people who have much, much heavier burdens to bear this Christmas, and that makes me feel five different sorts of guilty. But at night, when it's quiet my heart still feels weighed down and I still feel sad.
"Hurt leads to bitterness, bitterness to anger, travel too far that road and the way is lost." — Terry Brooks
Yesterday would've been my parents' 26th wedding anniversary had my mom been alive. Dec. 12 just adds another rough day to the Christmas season. I enjoy Christmas, like the fog this morning really had me in a holiday mood, but I'd love more than anything if my mom could see our Christmas tree and our other holiday decorations. I'd love to tell her where I found all the ornaments... the way I bonded at the clerks at the Walgreens on Airline in Bossier City because I kept going back to get the decorations I needed. How I found our gorgeous mocha-chocolate complexion tree-topper angel in an off chance visit to K-Mart because our friend's 4-year-old threw up at dinner and needed a change of clothes. How I lucked out and walked into Dillards during military appreciation day and got 15% off the "Baby's First Christmas" ornament and how I wasn't afraid to perch on the roof stringing Christmas lights on a Sunday afternoon.
And that's just the tip of the iceberg.
What makes it even harder is that I know things really aren't so bad. I know people who have much, much heavier burdens to bear this Christmas, and that makes me feel five different sorts of guilty. But at night, when it's quiet my heart still feels weighed down and I still feel sad.
"Hurt leads to bitterness, bitterness to anger, travel too far that road and the way is lost." — Terry Brooks
The List (Dec. 2007)
Here's the first annual Christmas list. I consider creating this list my own brand of retail therapy because if I were to go out and purchase all these items I'd be up to debt in my eyeballs. Writing things down (typing things out?) has always made me feel better and I expect this exercise to be no exception. I might even make one up for Valentine's Day and any other gift giving occasion.
Anyway, feel free to leave a comment with your list. And why not, retail therapy doesn't always have to mean breaking out the credit cards and watching your debt soar.
So in no particular order, here we go:
Anyway, feel free to leave a comment with your list. And why not, retail therapy doesn't always have to mean breaking out the credit cards and watching your debt soar.
So in no particular order, here we go:
- A new pea coat from J. Crew.
On the list because... When you factor in the color I want (red), the size I need (small, tall) and the shipping, the price tag ends up being over $150.
- New sweaters or shirts from Long Elegant Legs or Express
On the list because... The curse of the gangly people strikes whenever I try to buy shirts or sweaters. I've never owned a true long-sleeved shirt or sweater in my size. Sure, I have sweaters that are two sizes too big and just about manage to reach my wrists, but to find a shirt/sweater that's actually my size AND doesn't stop mid arm and have to be rolled up requires primo bucks. I mean $50 at the cheapest. The ones I managed to buy have been going on a long time now are thankfully still going fairly strong so I'll just pray that continues for awhile to come.
- A Nintendo Wii with Brain Age and Mario Party 8.
On the list because... Unless you're been under a rock you'll know that even though this is the cheapest console, it's still over $250 and that's not including the games that go for about $60 a pop each (another $120), for a grand total of $370.
- A new switchable bezel watch.
On the list because... I think the universe conspired against me on this one, folks. I had a switchable bezel watch (think Gucci, but I had the poor man version) that was ticking along just fine, then I idly said to J' I'd like a new one because the goldish finish on the band was fading. Very next day I lose the damn watch somewhere between home, daycare and work. Go figure. The price? Apparently only high because I don't like the look of the cheaper watches, sigh.
- A pair of Puma Sprints
On the list because... I wore my old blue on white ones to death, the only ones I can find online are about $83 a pop in some non-appealing colors and I'm upset about that. Is it too hard to ask for an afforable blue on white or black on white pair? I won't even ask for pink on white as I know that with my long feet I'll have to settle for a men's shoe size (9 1/2 if anyone out there's deeling generous). I usually get depressed looking for shoes as a rule and nothing is more depressing than ugly, expensive shoes that don't even come in your size.
- New makeup (I'm talking clear eyeliner, eyeshadow, blush, the works)
On the list because... For the life of me I cannot find the pouch I put everything in the last time I needed to transport my makeup somewhere other than home. One piece by iteself isn't too bad, but buying back all of that stuff at the same time is no picnic. Especially because with my ezema I can't buy just any old discount brand makeup.
Christmas Countdown
Christmas has become a very hard time of the year for me. This was the holiday my Mom and I always enjoyed together and had many little rituals that comprised the fabric of the season. It went beyond putting up the tree together, untangling lights and choosing wrapping paper. My earliest memories of Christmas involve Mommy playing Grandma's piano and us belting our carols at the top of our lungs. Traditional Jamaican things like sorrel, rum cake and, of course, Grandma's special punch. Christmas dinner at Aunt Peggy's (God, I miss her so much, too), Boxing Day dinner at Aunt Berl's and then we'd have New Year's Day brunch at our house. I rmemeber one year she was so sick she cooked sitting on a stool by the stove.
Another memory I have is being stuck in rush hour traffic on Barbic circle one evening, and then this came over the radio... this one is a very fond memory, indeed :-) Christmas Countdown by Frank Kelly
Another memory I have is being stuck in rush hour traffic on Barbic circle one evening, and then this came over the radio... this one is a very fond memory, indeed :-) Christmas Countdown by Frank Kelly
Heroic blunder
Have you ever been reading or watching something on TV and then you see or hear something that breaks your flow and makes you feel as if you've slammed head first into a brick wall? Well, that was me two minutes ago while reading a review of last night's Heroes episode.
Now, I'm a big fan of NBC's Heroes. And every Tuesday I meet the graphic artists here at the newspaper and we have our "Briefing" where we discuss the latest episode and hash out conspiracy theories, what we liked and disliked and where we think the show is going to go. I also read the reviews on Entertainment Weekly and IGN. I generally disagree with the EW reviewer but I'm OK with differing opinions, they offer insight. So imagine my shock this week that I'm actually agreeing with what the reviewer, Mark Bernardine, has written and then BLAM, I run into this:
All in all, a pretty solid episode, because it stuck to the core characters and pretended that the Oilies and New Orleans' Magical Negro don't exist. And even if we didn't get any real storytelling resolution, we got some emotional closure. (Click here to read the whole review.)
WTF? OK, I don't know about anyone else, but that offended me and I'm not even African American. I also read the comments other readers make about the review and many other readers were quite ticked off about that line. So I went to post my own comment then caught site of the Report Inappropriate Language, clicked that instead and posted this:
I think that Mark Bernardin's language this week was completely inappropriate when he referred to one of Heroes' African American characters as a "New Orleans' Magical Negro." I agree with his view that not seeing the character in this episode was a welcome relief but that comment was completley out of line. I even noticed that the word "negro" is blocked in EW's comments so how is it right that Bernardin is free to use it in his review? It's also grow negligence on the part of his editor letting that slip past, and I would certainly hope that it did in fact slip past and was not consciously allowed. I have no problem if a reviewer's opinion of an episode differs from mine but I think it's complete inappropriate when a reviewer's dislike of a character results in racial name calling. Very shameful.
Then, of course, I had to come here and blog about it. Now I'm going to find some way on that Web site to send that message to someone else.
Addendum:
Maybe it's my PMS why I'm being so irrational, but I know that I don't think that particular character serves any purpose this season but I sure don't think that kind of language is appropriate for the show. I spoke to my boss (the joys of working at a newspaper where everything is fodder for discussion) and we looked up the "magical negro" concept on Wiki. I can see where Bernardin was trying to go, but then when you look at Heroes as a show with its multi-ethnic cast, it still doesn't seem appropriate. I guess we'll see, my messages will probably just get trashed anyway.
Now, I'm a big fan of NBC's Heroes. And every Tuesday I meet the graphic artists here at the newspaper and we have our "Briefing" where we discuss the latest episode and hash out conspiracy theories, what we liked and disliked and where we think the show is going to go. I also read the reviews on Entertainment Weekly and IGN. I generally disagree with the EW reviewer but I'm OK with differing opinions, they offer insight. So imagine my shock this week that I'm actually agreeing with what the reviewer, Mark Bernardine, has written and then BLAM, I run into this:
All in all, a pretty solid episode, because it stuck to the core characters and pretended that the Oilies and New Orleans' Magical Negro don't exist. And even if we didn't get any real storytelling resolution, we got some emotional closure. (Click here to read the whole review.)
WTF? OK, I don't know about anyone else, but that offended me and I'm not even African American. I also read the comments other readers make about the review and many other readers were quite ticked off about that line. So I went to post my own comment then caught site of the Report Inappropriate Language, clicked that instead and posted this:
I think that Mark Bernardin's language this week was completely inappropriate when he referred to one of Heroes' African American characters as a "New Orleans' Magical Negro." I agree with his view that not seeing the character in this episode was a welcome relief but that comment was completley out of line. I even noticed that the word "negro" is blocked in EW's comments so how is it right that Bernardin is free to use it in his review? It's also grow negligence on the part of his editor letting that slip past, and I would certainly hope that it did in fact slip past and was not consciously allowed. I have no problem if a reviewer's opinion of an episode differs from mine but I think it's complete inappropriate when a reviewer's dislike of a character results in racial name calling. Very shameful.
Then, of course, I had to come here and blog about it. Now I'm going to find some way on that Web site to send that message to someone else.
Addendum:
Maybe it's my PMS why I'm being so irrational, but I know that I don't think that particular character serves any purpose this season but I sure don't think that kind of language is appropriate for the show. I spoke to my boss (the joys of working at a newspaper where everything is fodder for discussion) and we looked up the "magical negro" concept on Wiki. I can see where Bernardin was trying to go, but then when you look at Heroes as a show with its multi-ethnic cast, it still doesn't seem appropriate. I guess we'll see, my messages will probably just get trashed anyway.
Poppy Day Memories
Yesterday we observed Veteran's Day. J was off but of course, the paper never sleeps so I was here at my desk by 9 am. We received a lot of letters of the weekend one of which was from a WW I vet who wrote about his thoughts as he raised his American flag on his balcony. He mentioned a poem "In Flanders Fields" which got me thinking about the war (hard not to around here we have lots of vets and military members, courtesy of two installations). The poem mentions poppies and after wondering about any opium references, I Googled the poem and while reading its Wiki page, it hit me... poppies, bobby pins, tins of change, prep school collection drives... we too have our own vets. Norman Manley's own brother died in 1917 in Flanders fields in Belgium. We fought with the British Imperial Army and according to a Gleaner story by Marcia Thomas, Wolmer's Boys and Munro have lists of those Jamaicans who made the "ultimate sacrifice for King and country." (Click here to read the full story.)We sacrificed then and there are Jamaicans serving and sacrificing now. Amazing how these linkages exist between the developed and developing world.
Maybe it's because I'm now a military wife, but I think that's something to pause and reflect on. So I did, I paused for maybe a minute or so and gave thanks for the vets and for own national heroes whose sacrifice has no matter how indirectly impacted my life and helped me reach where I am today.
Outrageous and slack
Wholesales shun mothers, 'old' people
A number of wholesale stores in Kingston's busy Cross Roads area are refusing to hire people over 23 years old, claiming that they are old, a Sunday Observer probe has uncovered. At the same time, at least one store owner is averse to employing women with children as, he said, mothers are unreliable.
(Click here to read the rest of the slackness these people are keeping up.)
You've got to be kidding me? Dem tings still going on in this day and age? Maybe it's because I'm in America why I'm sitting at my desk fairly trembling in disbelief. If anyone tries that here it would be a straight lawuit before they'd even finished explaining... or so I'd like to think. Clearly it's because this is happening in Cross Roads and below why no one has jumped up to high about it in Jamaica. Because I definitely know that had it been upper middle class or upper class being subjected to this kind of treatment in New Kingston it wouldn't go so. And probably the same thing goes for over here too. (Yes people, the first blush is gone, live here long enough and you see that the same tings that gwaan a yard, happen right over here big and bold in the U S of A.)
But no, I'm sorry, maybe it's because my pride hurting me because I'm now on my way out to pasture at over 24 years old — with a child no less! — lawks, life looking bad. Is this what Jamaica has come to? I'm sorry to pull out the emancipation, slavery and independence card, but really now, after all that, we come to this? Just last week I was explaining to my boss about Jamaica's national heroes and what they went through, especially about Nanny of the Maroons who alledgedly caught a couple bullets in her backside.
The sad thing is that the "old people" (have to put it in quotations because that over 23 stipulation is madness) and the mothers probably had something to do with it too, cause you know we're a stubborn set of people from day and nuff people love skull work and school whenever they can. At the same time though I know I have to thank God because I have a boss with two children who understands that sometimes stuff does happen. Like week before last I hadn't even been at work 10 mins after coming in late because I had to stay home with the Moo, when braps is the day care that calling, telling me to come back for her because she had "uncontained" poo again. Nuff people not so understanding. I don't know what irks me worse, the wholesale manager or the Pay and Conditions Employment branch manager who carried on about the law. Slack and out of order.
But such is life on the rock.
Update: October, 28, 2007
Interesting, don't you think, that this story ran in Friday's Gleaner?
'Labour laws need to be amended'
Nevertheless, I'm sure that laws must exist dealing with what the Sunday Observer investigative piece covered. And if they don't, it's a crying shame and a sorry indictment on our country.
A number of wholesale stores in Kingston's busy Cross Roads area are refusing to hire people over 23 years old, claiming that they are old, a Sunday Observer probe has uncovered. At the same time, at least one store owner is averse to employing women with children as, he said, mothers are unreliable.
(Click here to read the rest of the slackness these people are keeping up.)
You've got to be kidding me? Dem tings still going on in this day and age? Maybe it's because I'm in America why I'm sitting at my desk fairly trembling in disbelief. If anyone tries that here it would be a straight lawuit before they'd even finished explaining... or so I'd like to think. Clearly it's because this is happening in Cross Roads and below why no one has jumped up to high about it in Jamaica. Because I definitely know that had it been upper middle class or upper class being subjected to this kind of treatment in New Kingston it wouldn't go so. And probably the same thing goes for over here too. (Yes people, the first blush is gone, live here long enough and you see that the same tings that gwaan a yard, happen right over here big and bold in the U S of A.)
But no, I'm sorry, maybe it's because my pride hurting me because I'm now on my way out to pasture at over 24 years old — with a child no less! — lawks, life looking bad. Is this what Jamaica has come to? I'm sorry to pull out the emancipation, slavery and independence card, but really now, after all that, we come to this? Just last week I was explaining to my boss about Jamaica's national heroes and what they went through, especially about Nanny of the Maroons who alledgedly caught a couple bullets in her backside.
The sad thing is that the "old people" (have to put it in quotations because that over 23 stipulation is madness) and the mothers probably had something to do with it too, cause you know we're a stubborn set of people from day and nuff people love skull work and school whenever they can. At the same time though I know I have to thank God because I have a boss with two children who understands that sometimes stuff does happen. Like week before last I hadn't even been at work 10 mins after coming in late because I had to stay home with the Moo, when braps is the day care that calling, telling me to come back for her because she had "uncontained" poo again. Nuff people not so understanding. I don't know what irks me worse, the wholesale manager or the Pay and Conditions Employment branch manager who carried on about the law. Slack and out of order.
But such is life on the rock.
Update: October, 28, 2007
Interesting, don't you think, that this story ran in Friday's Gleaner?
'Labour laws need to be amended'
Nevertheless, I'm sure that laws must exist dealing with what the Sunday Observer investigative piece covered. And if they don't, it's a crying shame and a sorry indictment on our country.
Dumbledore's gay?
Of all the random news to come across on Saturday night, I saw this one DrudgeReport.com:
J.K. Rowling Outs Hogwarts Character ...
As I was telling a friend online a couple seconds ago, thank goodness the series is finished and that I won't be reading the books for the first time. Finding out that Dumbledore is gay would put his relationship with Harry in a whole new light. Rowling was right to say that this will give the Christian groups that oppose the books more ammo for their cause. Such is life I suppose. Right now I'm looking forward to the big screen debut of another series that Christian groups love to hate...
The Golden Compass, the first book in Philip Pullman's
His Dark Materials trilogy.
Putting PC on the map
Panama City, Fla. is sure on the map. Every major U.S. television news outfit has devoted sometime last week to the Martin Lee Anderson, especially after the verdict came down last Friday. Here are a couple of points that I've been pondering:
- Both sides (prosecution and defense) agree that manhandling/beating didn't cause Anderson's death. But you'd never get that impression listening to the national media. It's as if Rodney King had happened all over again and the drill instructors had pulled the poor boy off the street and started wailing on him. It's not that there can't be questions about the "use of force matrix" and the other tactics the guards employed, but let's at least get that first fact straight? See http://www.miamiherald.com/news/breaking_dade/story/269291.html for an example of what I mean.
- When all else fails, of course, we pull the race card. I haven't gotten a good explanation for why the race card has been called because the DIs are white, black and one Asian. Mind you I have heard that the non-whites were made "honorary whites" or were "following on the white man's coat tails." Sad isn't it that minorities can be portrayed in so many different ways all depending on the situation? As our local talk show host said this morning, he can't understand why the NAACP is so incensed that two black men were acquited of a crime in a small southern mostly white town.
Why were CourtTV broadcasters so shocked that PC hadn't broken out into riots after the verdict came down? I wanted to roll with laughter when I heard them saying, yes and students are out in the streets demonstrating... and then they didn't mentioned that the demonstrations were happening in the state capital of Tallahassee, hours away. Maybe because I remember what riot tension feels like and I'm sure most Jamaicans will agree that the April '99 Gas Riots were riots indeed. See http://www.j-zone.com/riots/pictures/ for some pretty good pictures from various areas that were affected. These people all need to smell tear gas wafting into their living rooms and sweet talk their way through a couple road blocks before they can talk about riots. But like I said to my boss, if thos verdict had come down a few weeks or months after Anderson died, then all bets would be off. I could well and see lots of angry people out on the street then.
I dunno, maybe it's because I'm not from here and grew up in the West Indies why I hold these views. It is sad that Martin Lee Anderson died though. As a mother I cannot and do not even want to imagine loosing my child. No matter anyone's faults or shortcomings, they could be me worst enemy, losing a child isn't something I'd wish on anyone.
Stop for humor
I thought that this news story was just too cute. Oaklawn, Ill. has started adding smaller signs like the one in this photo to its stop signs in an attempt to curb people running stop signs. (Want to read the short story? Click here.) There are other signs one of which says "And smell the roses." It would be even more interesting if we'll see a follow-up on this in a couple months time to see what — if any — imapct this has.
Looking in
I'm down and losing faith
I can't catch a breakThat's where I am
And everyday is longer it seems
And I'm losing my dreams
Along the way
The world can be so mean to me...
All I want
So much more
(...)
I'm only one step away
And I'm falling apart
As I walk through the dark
I'm only one step away
I know I'm not blind
But I can't see a future
Unless I change my mind
Unless I decide
That all this comes right down to me...
And tomorrow's new day
And I'm fighting my way back again
As soon as I let me
I'll prove this is all in my head
'cause I want
So much more
(...)
I'm only one step away
And I'm falling apart
As I walk through the dark
I'm only one step away
"One Step Away"
Sometimes song lyrics help when you don't know what to say.
- Music: Apologize - Timbaland f. OneRepublic
Looking out
Lots of things have caught my attention this week, I'll start with the most recent:
- The news coming out of Myanmar this week touched me more deeply when I realized that the junta took over there the same year that Jamaica gained Independence. Stop and think about that for a second, if you're a Jamaican really think. That means that as we've struggled to build our country and our government these past years rebuilding after hurricanes, having elections, dealing with violence, making mistakes and restructuring after financial crises — half the world away another country has been living under military rule. According to a CNN.com article Myanmar has been cut off from the Internet. I can't imagine that happening in Jamaica today, at all. I mean look what happened when the government tried to throw on that 30% gas tax back in '99? We hear about limits on Internet access that exist in China, but when you couple this with the various reports of human rights violations with monks it makes you realize just how polarized rights and freedoms are across the world. I wonder if the demonstrators in Jena, La. thought about that?
- Actually, the town that I live in now is being portrayed as Jena II by some of the folks down in south Fla. The trial of the eight boot camp instructors and one nurse charged with criminal culpability in the death of Martin Lee Anderson starts this coming Wednesday. I already saw a Court TV broadcast truck when I drove past the Juvenile Justice court house on my way home yesterday. I don't even know where to start explaining what the case is about, but what disturbs me the most is the state governor's involvement and how he appears to have come down in favor of one medical examiner's autopsy over another's, to the point of discrediting the first. The first autopsy found that Anderson died from sickle cell trait complications, the second that he suffocated from being forced to inhale ammonia. Now the first examiner is being railroaded by the state (IMHO) even though other pathologists have come out saying that the second ME's cause of death has never happened before. I guess I'm shocked because this is supposed to be the country where things like this don't happen. It's supposed to be truth and justice, impartial and fair. But as we Jamaicans say: see me and come live with me a two different things.
- Lastly, congrats to my best friend and her husband on the birth of baby Matther and to my neighbors on the birth of baby Brycie. Now I can see why women catch "baby fever" — babies are cute! But at the same time, I don't miss the endless diaper changes and wee-hours-of-the-mornings feedings. Check me back when they start walking! :-)
"Love in the Age of Texting"
Saw this on the news wire here at work and thought it was very interesting.
Rule of Thumbs: Love in the Age of Texting
By Natalie Y. MooreSunday, September 16, 2007
I once had a boyfriend who was Mr. Text-o-Rama.
He never wanted to talk, but he always wanted to text. To him, the only way to communicate was via thumb.
I remember a Saturday afternoon I spent with a female friend when I didn't have my cellphone handy. By the evening, I had a logjam of text messages from him. The final mess of a message inquired whether our relationship was over because of my "lack of communication."
I called him. He didn't answer.
Click here to read the rest.
Rule of Thumbs: Love in the Age of Texting
By Natalie Y. MooreSunday, September 16, 2007
I once had a boyfriend who was Mr. Text-o-Rama.
He never wanted to talk, but he always wanted to text. To him, the only way to communicate was via thumb.
I remember a Saturday afternoon I spent with a female friend when I didn't have my cellphone handy. By the evening, I had a logjam of text messages from him. The final mess of a message inquired whether our relationship was over because of my "lack of communication."
I called him. He didn't answer.
Click here to read the rest.
Amy Winehouse
I love this girl's music so much. Such great throwback tunes. I just hope she doesn't self destruct before we can at least get another album out of her! For once, my favorite song on an artist's album ends up being the next video...
My Tears Dry on Their Own
Back to Black (Awesome song. This should be the next U.S. release)
F--- Me Pumps (I think this is so witty, it's hilarious!)
You Know I'm No Good (Has a nice remix with Ghostface Killa as well)
Rehab (The one that started it all for me)
My Tears Dry on Their Own
Back to Black (Awesome song. This should be the next U.S. release)
F--- Me Pumps (I think this is so witty, it's hilarious!)
You Know I'm No Good (Has a nice remix with Ghostface Killa as well)
Rehab (The one that started it all for me)
Abigail Morgan
I'm not sure if I've ever blogged about her before, but Abigail Morgan is the granddaughter of my co-worker who recently lost her battle with cancer. She wasn't even a year and a half old and in fact had spent her first birthday in hospital recovering from chemo. Her parents started a Caring Bridge website (http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/abigailmorgan) that I signed up at to receive updates on how Abby was doing. Seeing what they were going through helped change the way that I related to Moo. No matter how short time was after work, no matter how much house work or home work I had to do and most importantly no matter how fussy Moo was or how much she made me want to scream and run away, since learning about Abby I've thanked God for my baby's life. Every day with her is a blessing and she's a miracle.
One of the most profound things was also the strength of Abby parent's faith. Even now they are able to celebrate that Abby is pain free and singing praises to her father in heaven. I honestly don't know if I'd have that strength, especially knowing how far from my faith I turned after my mother died, to lose my child would be devastating. It truly is amazing the way they have kept it together for their older child Ellie, who often asks why Abby doesn't need her car seat anymore, and also for their other baby, on the way. Truly inspirational. In today's world where parents can be self absorbed as to forget their children in the car on a summer's day, we could all take a page from the Morgan's book and learn patience, caring and loving humility.
One of the most profound things was also the strength of Abby parent's faith. Even now they are able to celebrate that Abby is pain free and singing praises to her father in heaven. I honestly don't know if I'd have that strength, especially knowing how far from my faith I turned after my mother died, to lose my child would be devastating. It truly is amazing the way they have kept it together for their older child Ellie, who often asks why Abby doesn't need her car seat anymore, and also for their other baby, on the way. Truly inspirational. In today's world where parents can be self absorbed as to forget their children in the car on a summer's day, we could all take a page from the Morgan's book and learn patience, caring and loving humility.
Definitely not a good girl
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No not Moo Moo, me. And only with respect to blogging. As always, lots has happened since I last signed in and posted. Most notably Moo Moo turned 1. I'm extremely greatful for all the well wishes we received for both our birthdays (me Aug 10, her Aug 11) and all the people that braved the heat to come and jam up in our living room for her party. To the Atlanta massive, nuff love... the auto cross the next day was very enjoyable even though I did get my teeth kick out. Fret not, October a beer tings!Back to July though, my aunt and cousin came from London to visit and we had to go on vacation to Orlando by ourselves because they cancelled J's leave. That was very frustrating because this was our third honeymoon and since January we've all been planning on going together. My aunt had to talk all the way to and from Orlando, just so that I wouldn't fall asleep behind the wheel. I am definitely not a long-distance driver.
Moo Moo is officially a big little girl. She's been off baby bottles since August 6 when she moved up to the one year old room at day care. Now we've largely abandoned her onesies and she goes to class in shirts and shorts, skirts or pants. I'm happy because now I can also do her hair and put in clips (they were a choking hazard in the baby room).
Strangely enough I had very weird dreams this past week. I'm thinking it was because J was away at training. I'm just glad he's home now so I can get some sleep! I'd appreciate it though if a Jamaican could tell me what dreaming about windows, photo albums and wondering why someone didn't do something means.
Next up, the family heads to a nearby waterpark courtesy of the company yearly trip.
Ciao.
That fateful slap
There's a good reason I sit so far back from the front desk. Just a few minutes ago we had a squalling child in the office. Of course, my first reaction was to feel sorry for the mother. I do know what it feels like to flee a public place and retreat to the privacy of my car because my child was hungry/needed to be changed and decided the whole Wal-Mart should know. Then I started wondering why she didn't take the child outside. This after all is a place of business. I've taken Moo outside on many occassions, changed a diaper, fed her a bottle and then gone back to what I was doing.
Finally she left. Then I got the full story for the assistant who sits at the entrance to the newsroom (we have a very open floor plan here, all desks, no cubicles). She said she was this "thumb and forefinger about 1/2 an inch apart" close to grabbing the child. I laughed saying OK, isn't that overreacting a bit? Then she said that the child had hauled off and slapped the mother in the face. Even worse, she did nothing about it.
That right there is my biggest pet peeve and also one of my fears with raising Moo. Mothers who don't discipline there children when they're obviously rude and impudent. (Saying no and hitting a knee is one thing, but a slap to the face?) And it's not that I'm afraid that Moo will hit me and I'll be embarassed. She's bound to try one day. It's that I won't get her outside and to the car before I put the fear of God into her like my mother did. I don't even remember trying that with my Mom. That was just one of the deadly sins, never to be tried, just like swearing at her. I'd have to have been a certified case for Bellvue to try that madness.
So far though Moo has sense. The last time she reached out and slapped my face, I just pointed my finger and said, "No," in an authoratative voice. She's still less than a year old, can't it against her, but I sure can stop and make sure that she realizes it's an action that gets a "No."
Ahh, the joys of childrearing.
I found an interesting New York TImes article awhile ago (I'm emailing myself my blog entry from work). It's about Brooklyn community in New York called Park Slope that is apparently a mommy haven. http://www.nytimes.com/2007/07/08/realestate/08cov.html?pagewanted=1
For the past couple days I've actually been thinking that I don't know how well I'd deal in a community like that. I definitely don't feel like super mommy and sometimes I'm not even sure I know what I'm doing. Oh I get the hang of feed, bathe, clothe, protect, but I keep wondering how I'll fare when it gets time to teach her things. Then I start freaking out about when is the time to start teaching her the names of objects, colors, numbers, shapes, etc. In fact, I just realized on Saturday that every time I go to my hairdresser I end up talking about how I scared I am that I'm going to mess up and not do anywhere near as good a job with Moo as I feel that my Mom did raising me.
That's a very sobering and numbing thought. I got short of breath the other night just thinking about it. I see people with their pre-teen and teenage daughters and wonder what Moo will be like then. I wonder if we'll have imparted good morales to her, because let's face it by the time she's hit 16 who she'll be will largely be in place already.
The other part that I've been thinking of is that I'm also not comfortable around large groups of Moms and babies. I went to a baby shower two weeks ago and I felt so out of place. I was the only the third black person there, but it's too easy to play the race card. I just don't think I'm the same kind of mommy that those there were. I don't call Moo's room a nursery, neither is it painted, nor is there any kind of color-coding going on in there. Her stroller and car seat never matched, and neither had even a passing acquaintance with pink. We're just different.
And that isn't to say that she doesn't get alot of love and attention. On the contrary, just this past Saturday she spent most of the morning hanging out with her Daddy in the garage helping him work on his car from her perch above a box. And she had a whole afternoon shopping incursion yesterday during which I realized that she loves people watching. And then she had the time of her life playing in the living room, crawling away from me and laughing so hard that she curled up like a little ball.
I think it's the baby-food-to-real-food transition stage that's unnerving me. I'm so scared I'm doing it toally wrong and she's going to end up with some random eating disorder. Yesterday I couldn't help but sit on the bed and just allow myself to "not be strong" and miss my Mom. I sure wish she was around to help and play grandma.
For the past couple days I've actually been thinking that I don't know how well I'd deal in a community like that. I definitely don't feel like super mommy and sometimes I'm not even sure I know what I'm doing. Oh I get the hang of feed, bathe, clothe, protect, but I keep wondering how I'll fare when it gets time to teach her things. Then I start freaking out about when is the time to start teaching her the names of objects, colors, numbers, shapes, etc. In fact, I just realized on Saturday that every time I go to my hairdresser I end up talking about how I scared I am that I'm going to mess up and not do anywhere near as good a job with Moo as I feel that my Mom did raising me.
That's a very sobering and numbing thought. I got short of breath the other night just thinking about it. I see people with their pre-teen and teenage daughters and wonder what Moo will be like then. I wonder if we'll have imparted good morales to her, because let's face it by the time she's hit 16 who she'll be will largely be in place already.
The other part that I've been thinking of is that I'm also not comfortable around large groups of Moms and babies. I went to a baby shower two weeks ago and I felt so out of place. I was the only the third black person there, but it's too easy to play the race card. I just don't think I'm the same kind of mommy that those there were. I don't call Moo's room a nursery, neither is it painted, nor is there any kind of color-coding going on in there. Her stroller and car seat never matched, and neither had even a passing acquaintance with pink. We're just different.
And that isn't to say that she doesn't get alot of love and attention. On the contrary, just this past Saturday she spent most of the morning hanging out with her Daddy in the garage helping him work on his car from her perch above a box. And she had a whole afternoon shopping incursion yesterday during which I realized that she loves people watching. And then she had the time of her life playing in the living room, crawling away from me and laughing so hard that she curled up like a little ball.
I think it's the baby-food-to-real-food transition stage that's unnerving me. I'm so scared I'm doing it toally wrong and she's going to end up with some random eating disorder. Yesterday I couldn't help but sit on the bed and just allow myself to "not be strong" and miss my Mom. I sure wish she was around to help and play grandma.
Catching up
Gosh, it really has been ages since I last blogged. You never really notice until you log in and see the last blogged date that Blogger so handily displays on the dashboard page. (Thanks to you too Nadz for pointing out how long it's been!) Needless to say alot has happened in the past couple weeks. Of course a fair amount of that has to do with the girl... so I'll start there.Last night pretty much sums up where she is now, on the path to baby independence. I spread a plastic drop cloth in the kitchen and fed her vienna sausage and baked beans while she fed herself a slice of toast. Last week I watched her stand up against the dishwasher and wail away at it while "talking" to me and laughing. She also fell asleep in the pool - yes, in the pool. Being a parent is amazing, all these little moments when taken together make for memories that I'm sure I can share with her and tease her with when she's older. The sausage and beans episode had me cringing because for some reason she likes to toss her food around before settling down to eat... I'm telling myself that's just a phase. The pool, now that was nice. We had her in a baby life vext towing her around the pool when at one point I said to J, "Babe, does she just have her eyes closed against the sun, or what?" Nope. My girl was fast asleep. No one could believe it because we were at the public base pool with kids laughing and carrying all around her. Adorable.
One of the other glass balls we all juggle is of course work. I'm not too happy with myself that I haven't been writing a column, but I want to focus more on learning how to write editorials and ensuring that the opinion pages are the best product I can put out there. I've already contributed $10 to the "Error Pig" at work and I'm not trying to pay for style books and donuts for the whole department at the end of the year. (We contribute $5 whenever an error someone has made results in a correction.) Both mine had to do with the weekly poll question. Just goes to show that it wasn't a fluke why I failed A Level accounts. Maaaaad LOL Other than that I could myself as truly blessed. The work load isn't by any means light but I work in a fun department and have a great boss. Seriously cannot complain.Looking forward to my Aunt and cousin coming across the pond to visit soon. Unfortunately they've cancelled J's vacation leave (which we put in from January, but anyway, let me not get started there). So needless to say it's not going to be as much fun as we'd planned and if it wasn't for my Aunt and cousin I'd definitely reschedule, but such is life. At least we could rearrange the plans so we'll be together on our anniversary. I'm going to see if we can get some go-kart action going... that should be really fun :)
Lastly, we've been enjoying our new home. There are some growing pains with our homeowners' association but I don't regret us moving because it is truly amazing to be able to own our own home at our age. And it's so cozy!
I've got to appologize to anyone who was looking for an opinion type blog. Don't have that in my tonight at the moment although I do have some views on people driving new parents crazy and what we do to make things bad on ourselves, but right now I just want to unwind and do some simming...
Ciao.
PS - I aced my first MA class with 98% ;)
Almost there...
I'm about to start the last main section of my paper. All I'll have left then is to do the Introduction and the Conclusion and then proof it. After that I'll have to defend it (someone will post two critical questions about my paper) and I also have to come up with two questions about someone else's paper and then that's it! This course will be over and behind me...
- Mood: stuffy but still slogging...
- Music: Amy Winehouse - Rehab
Still alive
Haven't blogged in awhile but don't worry I'm still alive. Not necessarily going strong because the Miss brought home something from daycare and while her Dad and I are fighting it, she's back to being as healthy as an ox.
Other than that, the last week of school has me bowled for six at the moment. This is just a sign in post of sorts... back to work on my final paper.
Other than that, the last week of school has me bowled for six at the moment. This is just a sign in post of sorts... back to work on my final paper.
Moving Day Part 2
Today is a very subdued second day in the moving process. My aunt called this morning to say that my second cousin passed away last night after being in a car accident. He was only 19 and I can remember bathing him and my other second cousin when I spent summers at my Aunt's house when I was younger. These things hit me so much harder now that I have Moo. You really never know what true fear is until you have children.
Tears to my eyes
I'm blogging from work. Yes the time stamp on this is after hours, but that's because I composed this post at work and emailed it to myself :) For the past couple weeks I've been following a different sort of blog. This one is at Caring Bridge.org and details my co-worker's granddaughter's fight with an acute form of leukemia. As I've said in their guestbook, it's like they've become my extended family because this morning when I read that Abigail's preliminary biopsy results came back cancer free I had to hold back tears.
I think her case has touched me so deeply because Abigail had just started learning how to crawl when she was diagnosed with AML. And I can't help but think that it could have been Moo. J and I have been truly blessed to have such a healthy baby, and so in my mind I have lots of extra prayers that I can offer up for Abigail's recovery.
If you'd like to visit the Caring Bridge site — and you should, if only because as baby's go she's terribly cute :) — then click below:
http://www.caringbridge.org/cb/inputSiteName.do?method=search&siteName=abigailmorgan
Hotness
Okay we're homeowners now. We closed on our first home today. But in more important news, the new Maroon 5 album is out and is Adam just hotter than 10 fire sides or WHAT? LOL Just kidding, but seriously, this is my new jam of the week...
FINALLY!
On Saturday I had the time of my life. I FINALLY went to a motorsports event and drove just as - if not more - aggressively than I do on the road. J treated me to an autocross in Pensacola for Mother's Day and I managed to eek by and beat him by 0.3 seconds... mind you only on a technicality because he hit a cone on his last run. (We may have even won a trophy but no official results yet. I guess they won't be as quick about it because it was put on by a shop and not the SCCA.)
As you can see, the blogging everyday hasn't quite been working. Last week the girl took down really sick, had to pick her up at day care on two days. J got her on Monday and brought her home and she had to have an antibiotic injection Tuesday because her temp was 104. Scariest moments of my life.
I love that little girl with all my heart.
The power of the 'Net
Have you ever stopped and thought about how much the Internet has permeated our lives? I know I'm not the only one who's depressed when the Internet connection drops. Or feels like their life has ended when the computer is on the fritz. This point has been hit home before, and quite forcefully, but sometimes subtlety works best.
Yesterday I burnt my thumb on the rack in the oven while making my dinner. I didn't even hesitate. I walked over to the computer, pulled up a Google window, typed 'first aid burns' and hit the link for a page at About.com. Hey, presto! Instant information. And it's a good thing I did that too. Apparently it would've been a very bad idea to put oil on the burned area, which is what I'd originally been planning to do.
Just a thought to leave you with so you can ponder how the Internet has permeated your life too :)
Yesterday I burnt my thumb on the rack in the oven while making my dinner. I didn't even hesitate. I walked over to the computer, pulled up a Google window, typed 'first aid burns' and hit the link for a page at About.com. Hey, presto! Instant information. And it's a good thing I did that too. Apparently it would've been a very bad idea to put oil on the burned area, which is what I'd originally been planning to do.
Just a thought to leave you with so you can ponder how the Internet has permeated your life too :)
The best laid plans
So much for blogging daily huh? Since Monday everything has just been going at breakneck pace. Tuesday was a bust at the DMV because I left all my paperwork at home. This at least gave me the ooportunity to reschedule and be able to take the driving exam right after the written test. I decided on Wednesday morning instead of during my lunch break so I wouldn't have too much time to turn myself into a nervous wreck. I only had three incorrect answers on the general knowledge section and I got all the signs right. Had a couple stop sign and 3-point turn issues but not enough to fail me, so I'm the proud owner of a new driver's license.
The masters program is going okay so far. I keep having to resist the urge to buy a home laser printer, but let's just say after the charge UOP levelled at my AMEX card yesterday, I won't be buying a blessed thing anytime soon. I can't wait until tomorrow to ask my advisors what's going on.
The masters program is going okay so far. I keep having to resist the urge to buy a home laser printer, but let's just say after the charge UOP levelled at my AMEX card yesterday, I won't be buying a blessed thing anytime soon. I can't wait until tomorrow to ask my advisors what's going on.
Crossing fingers, eyes and toes!
OK, this post is going to be short and sweet. I've stayed up a bit too late looking around my first 'classroom' for my University of Phoenix Management MA, but I must say I'm scared and excited all at the same time. Six weeks long, I can tell it's going to be an intensive course, but that's good. Hopefully I won't suffer the mid-term slump that always used to grip me in college.
Tomorrow's blog will definitely include a few tidbits on how my 'first day of class' went and also the results of the Florida Driver's License written test that I'm heading to the DMV at lunch time to sit.
Wish me luck!
PS, this if fun (thanks Tav!) Every woman has had a nail girl like this one...
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=8126430922330991484&q=genre%3A
(sorry, couldn't figure out how to embed this vid)
Tomorrow's blog will definitely include a few tidbits on how my 'first day of class' went and also the results of the Florida Driver's License written test that I'm heading to the DMV at lunch time to sit.
Wish me luck!
PS, this if fun (thanks Tav!) Every woman has had a nail girl like this one...
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=8126430922330991484&q=genre%3A
(sorry, couldn't figure out how to embed this vid)
Sleep is good
I actually took a nap today. Believe me, I have to be near the end of my rope to take a nap and the one I took today was like a tall drink of water on a sweltering summer's day. One of the things I remember from towards the end of my pregnancy and right after Moo was born was how hard it was for me to take a nap! I knew I should, my body was screaming that I needed it but for as long as I can remember I've always been the type of person that when I'm up, I'm up.
An article I just read has eased that thinking a bit though. It talked about a recently concluded study that shows women who sleep five or less hours per night are 32 percent more likely to gain 1-2 pounds per year. Now that might not sound like much, but the article pointed out the negatives that could happen five or so years down the road when the total weight gain is in the region of 10 pounds.
More sleep for the win!
An article I just read has eased that thinking a bit though. It talked about a recently concluded study that shows women who sleep five or less hours per night are 32 percent more likely to gain 1-2 pounds per year. Now that might not sound like much, but the article pointed out the negatives that could happen five or so years down the road when the total weight gain is in the region of 10 pounds.
More sleep for the win!
The Saturday Shuffle
It's done by Mom's all over the world. Wake up early to get a head start before the kids are up. Do whatever chores are needed (i.e. picking up after the kids and the husband). Then get ready for the probably lengthy list of other things you have to do that day. In my case I get the baby's food ready and fold whatever laundry I might have dried from the night before. Then I clean out the fridge, write down what we need at the supermarket and go through my coupons. If I'm lucky then I'll have time to plan the dinner menu for the week and scribble on my shopping list appropriately.
Depending on J's schedule, I get to leave Daddy and baby to play together while I zip off to the supermarket... thankfully, that's more often that not. Any one (Mom or Dad) knows it's murder to do any form of proper shopping with an inquisitive baby in tow. On that note, single parents you have my utmost respect, because most of you have no respite and manage to do everything with all the children right there with you.
Then it's off to the bathroom, which I clean before I shower - actually if I was too tired to clean the kitchen on Friday night, then that's a pre-Saturday Shuffle chore as well - and then I get going. By the time I'm out the shower Moo has usually heard all the shuffling and is demanding to be let out to explore and be fed.
Depending on J's schedule, I get to leave Daddy and baby to play together while I zip off to the supermarket... thankfully, that's more often that not. Any one (Mom or Dad) knows it's murder to do any form of proper shopping with an inquisitive baby in tow. On that note, single parents you have my utmost respect, because most of you have no respite and manage to do everything with all the children right there with you.With that said, it's time to get going. I'll have some Mommy time later today, going to get my hair relaxed and go to a baby shower sans the baby (7p.m. is a bit too late for the Miss).
Note: Yesterday's 'blog' was more blog maintenance than anything else. I deleted broken links from the menu on the right and also added a counter at the bottom.
Perfect fit
My song of the moment.
I love how dark yet sexy the video is... fits my mood these last few weeks to a tee.
(Thanks for finding it for me, J')
Worthwhile or worthless
How do we decide whether something is worthwhile or worthless. I was telling my boss earlier today that I've managed to blog every day except one since making my daily blog promise (challenge?) and that led into a discussion about how many blogs in the blogosphere are worth reading. He reads mainly political blogs. I mainly read the blogs of my friends and others in the Caribbean Bloggers circle. We both agreed that most of the millions of blogs out there are crap. He doesn't blog yet but since I do, here's the question - how do I know my blog isn't part of the blog-garbage cluttering up the net?
(In?) voluntary segregation
I would never have believed this if I hadn't read it with my own two eyes:
Students attend school's first integrated prom
April 23, 2007
Story Highlights
• Students of Turner County High School voted to have school-sponsored prom• In the past, parents have organized private, segregated dances
• Principal Chad Stone says the official prom will become a yearly event
• Senior Class President James Hall led the movement for the integrated prom
http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/04/23/turner.prom/index.html
It is completely mind-boggling that in this day and age this is the first time that black and white students at a high school in America were holding a joint prom. But then, when you realize that the school is in a small rural southern town, it's not that surprising at all. Perhaps that's because I've lived in the south for almost three years now. In the south, it's not about whether racism exists or not. Differences based on color are simply ingrained in the psyche. Much the same way we expect to see on-coming traffic on the right hand side of the road in Jamaica but on the left in America, it's the same way certain things are expected and taken for granted when it comes to race relations in the south.
So much so that I can't even think up any examples because I'm so used to what I see and experience. The only thing I can say is that in many respects, my husband and I (and many other West Indian immigrants) break the mold. If we call ahead to store whether to order take out or request a part, I've seen literal shock on the faces of cashiers and store clerks alike when we walk into their establishment.
Hmm, I think I should take back my earlier comment. It's not mind-boggling. It's saddening but at the same time uplifting to see that yes, this kind of attitude still exists, but that the next generation is attempting to build a bridge.
Funny, I used to be the next generation... I guess it really is downhill after you hit 21, huh? :)
Students attend school's first integrated prom
April 23, 2007
Story Highlights
• Students of Turner County High School voted to have school-sponsored prom• In the past, parents have organized private, segregated dances
• Principal Chad Stone says the official prom will become a yearly event
• Senior Class President James Hall led the movement for the integrated prom
http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/04/23/turner.prom/index.html
It is completely mind-boggling that in this day and age this is the first time that black and white students at a high school in America were holding a joint prom. But then, when you realize that the school is in a small rural southern town, it's not that surprising at all. Perhaps that's because I've lived in the south for almost three years now. In the south, it's not about whether racism exists or not. Differences based on color are simply ingrained in the psyche. Much the same way we expect to see on-coming traffic on the right hand side of the road in Jamaica but on the left in America, it's the same way certain things are expected and taken for granted when it comes to race relations in the south.
So much so that I can't even think up any examples because I'm so used to what I see and experience. The only thing I can say is that in many respects, my husband and I (and many other West Indian immigrants) break the mold. If we call ahead to store whether to order take out or request a part, I've seen literal shock on the faces of cashiers and store clerks alike when we walk into their establishment.
Hmm, I think I should take back my earlier comment. It's not mind-boggling. It's saddening but at the same time uplifting to see that yes, this kind of attitude still exists, but that the next generation is attempting to build a bridge.
Funny, I used to be the next generation... I guess it really is downhill after you hit 21, huh? :)
Foreclosures
Scary...
Rising foreclosures have widespread fallout
Filings in the U.S. were up 47% from a year ago, leaving a wake of vacant homes and overgrown yards for state and local governments to contend with. Even lenders are trying to help troubled borrowers.
http://realestate.msn.com/Buying/Article2.aspx?cp-documentid=4734564>=9323
Rising foreclosures have widespread fallout
Filings in the U.S. were up 47% from a year ago, leaving a wake of vacant homes and overgrown yards for state and local governments to contend with. Even lenders are trying to help troubled borrowers.
http://realestate.msn.com/Buying/Article2.aspx?cp-documentid=4734564>=9323
On your mark...
I completed my first assignment today. Apparently for each course you take at University of Phoenix you post a short biography of yourself as your first assignment. So while J dozed on the cough and Moo snored in her crib I got to it. Thankfully my new job has me back into the swing of things with writing so it didn't take me too long to hammer something out.
Other than that I also bit the bullet this weekend and paid the fees for my first course. The nice thing about being a cash student and not being dependent on financial aid is that I can set my own pace for the degree program. What I plan to do is save during the six weeks of each course and if I have enough to take the next course immediately afterwards then I'll do that, if not I'll be allowed to take as much time as I need to amass the necessary money. Now that is flexibility.
Other than that I also bit the bullet this weekend and paid the fees for my first course. The nice thing about being a cash student and not being dependent on financial aid is that I can set my own pace for the degree program. What I plan to do is save during the six weeks of each course and if I have enough to take the next course immediately afterwards then I'll do that, if not I'll be allowed to take as much time as I need to amass the necessary money. Now that is flexibility.
Regrouping
Okay, I may have to change that promise to everyday during the week and optionally on the weekend. I'm bushed at the moment. Just reeling from the shock that one of the Blue Angels crashed and died during an air show in South Carolina. They were just here a few weekends ago. The formation they were doing when the pilot veered off and died? My neighbor and I saw that at eye level when we were coming over the bridge that leads from Panama City over to the base.
Surreal.
Mark Almond, Birmingham News / AP
The Blue Angels perform the last maneuver Saturday before the accident. The No. 6 plane is seen just above the center of the photo.
The Blue Angels perform the last maneuver Saturday before the accident. The No. 6 plane is seen just above the center of the photo.
Where's my brown bag?
Well, I'm not doing too hot at the moment. Feel like I'm in a fog, with a migraine and a slight cold. Won't bore you there, but I wanted to lay it out just in case this comes out all disjointed. Anyway, I was on the Burnie Thompson Morning Show on Talk Radio 101 earlier today. It went well, my boss and the executive editor said I did good. My boss even said that I sounded "polished and poised." That's amazing considering that I was shaking like a leaf afterwards and it took forever to calm my nerves.
Here's the link:
http://www.talkradio101.com/archives/AM/AM-Thu-04-19-hour_03.mp3
Here's the link:
http://www.talkradio101.com/archives/AM/AM-Thu-04-19-hour_03.mp3
Yet to go
On the air that is. Monday's mass shooting at Virgina Tech obviously eclipsed anything else short of World War III on Tuesday. We rescheduled to this morning, when I was supposed to joing Thompson in the studio, but then we had to take Moo to the clinic. The poor little thing has both ears infected and a bad congested cough.
So I'm due on tomorrow morning at approximately 8am. I'm quite tired tonight so this entry is going to be more of an update than a conscious discussion of a particular topic. Answering emails at the moment and enjoying a psuedo-Mojito. Wondering when hubby will realize I finished the last of the Bacardi :)
So I'm due on tomorrow morning at approximately 8am. I'm quite tired tonight so this entry is going to be more of an update than a conscious discussion of a particular topic. Answering emails at the moment and enjoying a psuedo-Mojito. Wondering when hubby will realize I finished the last of the Bacardi :)
I did start...
As you can see this entry is very short. I haven't broken my promise though because saved as a draft to my Blogger account is the very reason why I started this exercise in the first place. On the way home from work I came up with a topic that I'd explore, and while fleshing it all out in the blog create box I realized that I'd struck on my column for this Saturday :)
So I'm going to have to keep it under wraps, but you'll be more than welcome to check the News Herald archives on Saturday when (if? LOL) it's published.
So I'm going to have to keep it under wraps, but you'll be more than welcome to check the News Herald archives on Saturday when (if? LOL) it's published.
Shaking in my... hmm, heels?
I'm due on the air tomorrow morning at around 8:15 am. I've been invited to participate on the Burnie Thompson Morning Show on Talk Radio 101 here in Northwest Florida. It's not that I've never been on the radio before - I had my own show during my year at W&L - but I'm just a bundle of nerves. This is exactly how I felt last Friday waiting to see my first column published in the Saturday paper. Definitely not the first time I've written a column, or anything for a paper. And I'm not selling Jamaica short either. But I am from Jamaica, I know the nuances of Jamaican society as only someone who has been born and raised there can understand. The first time I'd ever been to Panama City was last March, and now a scant year later I've had my first column published and I'm going on the radio tomorrow.
To be honest the thing that has me all choked up is the fact that I know I'm a compulsive rambler. Yes, if you were waiting to exhale, let that breath out now, it's nothing deep and dark. I just know that sometimes it's a task for me to reign myself in, especially when I've warmed up to a topic.
I'm not even going to tease the topic (did you notice that I hadn't mentioned it yet?). Take a listen to this segment of the Burnie Thompson Morning Show to get an idea of what's going on :)(Start at around the 55th minute.)
To be honest the thing that has me all choked up is the fact that I know I'm a compulsive rambler. Yes, if you were waiting to exhale, let that breath out now, it's nothing deep and dark. I just know that sometimes it's a task for me to reign myself in, especially when I've warmed up to a topic.
I'm not even going to tease the topic (did you notice that I hadn't mentioned it yet?). Take a listen to this segment of the Burnie Thompson Morning Show to get an idea of what's going on :)(Start at around the 55th minute.)
I did promise, but....
I did say that I'd blog every day but I didn't specify the length, now did I? Had to leave myself an escape clause somewhere else this would become too taxing and defeat the purpose of getting my writing skills back up to scratch.
Today was a slow day. Went to a baby shower, where for the first time Moo was the oldest baby there. Very humbling experience. I was also ashamed but at the same time grateful when another new-mom implied that I must already be back to my pre-pregnancy weight. "I'm not," I said, "I just hide my stuff well." And that's the truth. These days it's more about showing my body to the best advantage and contrary to society's belief today, that doesn't mean baring most of my breasts and belly. I can look quite sharp in a pair of tailored pants and an Oxofrd shirt, thank you. Or at least I think I look pretty decent.
Anyway, today I'm going to lean on someone elses blog. I was surfing through the blogs in my network and came across this entry that had me in stitches. We Jamaicas are a very hilarious lot.
Enjoy.
Panty thief stalks residents
There is a pervert running loose in Milk River, Clarendon, and according to the residents, not even the police can stop him.
Click to read one resident's experience
Today was a slow day. Went to a baby shower, where for the first time Moo was the oldest baby there. Very humbling experience. I was also ashamed but at the same time grateful when another new-mom implied that I must already be back to my pre-pregnancy weight. "I'm not," I said, "I just hide my stuff well." And that's the truth. These days it's more about showing my body to the best advantage and contrary to society's belief today, that doesn't mean baring most of my breasts and belly. I can look quite sharp in a pair of tailored pants and an Oxofrd shirt, thank you. Or at least I think I look pretty decent.
Anyway, today I'm going to lean on someone elses blog. I was surfing through the blogs in my network and came across this entry that had me in stitches. We Jamaicas are a very hilarious lot.
Enjoy.
Panty thief stalks residents
There is a pervert running loose in Milk River, Clarendon, and according to the residents, not even the police can stop him.
Click to read one resident's experience
Chat bout...
I was on my way home from the base supermarket, cycling through my programmed radio channels because I didn't feel like listening to my Daft Punk CD anymore. I ended up listening to some rap song (sad, but I can't even remember the name right now - no, wait, it was We Fly High/Ballin'). That got me thinking about the whole Imus deal.
Then something else struck me - amazing that I hadn't driven off the road into a ditch yet, huh? -I'm raising a daughter. What am I going to do if she goes beyond the catchy beat and identifies with the lyrics and starts seeing herself as one of those ho's from the hood trying to get a n----'s money, to paraphrase how Snoop put it. I know I'd feel like I'd have failed her. So what can I do? The music is all over the airwaves, and I still am a big hiphop/rap fan. Not necessarily of the stuff nowadays, but I love my Biggie with the best of them and I know I won't stop buying/listening to the music.
These days that's what we're all talking about. Don Imus and rap music that trashes women. One syndicated columnist thought the backlash from his "nappy headed-ho's" comment was just going to be a storm in a tea cup. Instead advertisers started pulling out from Imus's radio show and before you knew it his show was dropped and he was fired. Others are now using the shock jock's comment as a way to focus the spotlight on the way rap music denigrates young black women.
Back to me and Jim Jones and when it struck me that maybe I was part of the problem. Okay, I know I'm just one person and in the grand scheme of things I don't matter at all, but it's me and people like me who are the problem. The people who one hand don't like the denigration of women in these songs but on the other hand like the beat and dance/sing along to those very same songs without missing a beat. We're all complacent because most of us know what we're about and believe that: "Is not me dem talking 'bout".
Back to me and Jim Jones and when it struck me that maybe I was part of the problem. Okay, I know I'm just one person and in the grand scheme of things I don't matter at all, but it's me and people like me who are the problem. The people who one hand don't like the denigration of women in these songs but on the other hand like the beat and dance/sing along to those very same songs without missing a beat. We're all complacent because most of us know what we're about and believe that: "Is not me dem talking 'bout".
Then something else struck me - amazing that I hadn't driven off the road into a ditch yet, huh? -I'm raising a daughter. What am I going to do if she goes beyond the catchy beat and identifies with the lyrics and starts seeing herself as one of those ho's from the hood trying to get a n----'s money, to paraphrase how Snoop put it. I know I'd feel like I'd have failed her. So what can I do? The music is all over the airwaves, and I still am a big hiphop/rap fan. Not necessarily of the stuff nowadays, but I love my Biggie with the best of them and I know I won't stop buying/listening to the music.I've thought about it and I think all I can do is teach her by example. Show her that she doesn't have to be a gold digger to gain acceptance, and that being intelligent and educated isn't something to be ashamed of. That whole line always sounded so terribly cliché to me but now that I'm a parent it makes sense, perfect sense.
My Promise
While it hasn't been too terribly long since I last blogged it has been a considerable length of time since I last blogged consistently. All that is now going to change. I made a statement to my boss when I was leaving work today and during the drive home the sentiment took the shape of a promise that I've now made to myself.
I am going to blog every day.
Every day, you might say? What happens if one of those crazy drivers where you lives crashes into your car and lands you in the hospital? Should that happen - and it very nearly did this morning - then no, I won't be blogging... well, not on Blogger. Just in my head.
Bet you're wondering how this all came about? Well, Monday was my first day on the job as Assistant Editorial Page Editor at the local newspaper. And I truly can't remember the last time I was so proud of myself. Today while discussing my first week my boss said that he was amazed at how smoothly I fit in and I couldn't help but grin, I was thinking the same thing - it was like putting on an old shoe. And while that might seem strange to any man reading this, all my ladies will know exactly what I mean. I actually dug out an old pair of shoes today, my beloved strappy black heels and I felt like I was walking on air.
Nowhere is ever going to be as vibesy as the Observer, but you know what the News Herald doesn't have to be. My newsroom is the perfect blend of the vibes and streamlined order. Mind you, I also said that the honeymoon period is drawing to an end, so it will be interesting to see what this second week holds.
This all has me thinking how as much as we might try not to, humans do validate their self-worth based on the job they do - men especially. As a wife and mom, I also have another set of criteria and I've got to say, juggling all the various balls is hard work (take your mind out the gutter, it's an expression!).
I just hope that I can find some closure in other areas of my life, well no, just one. It has me feeling quite helpless and at a loss, but working on it is also teaching me a valuable lesson - that some things take time.
I am going to blog every day.
Every day, you might say? What happens if one of those crazy drivers where you lives crashes into your car and lands you in the hospital? Should that happen - and it very nearly did this morning - then no, I won't be blogging... well, not on Blogger. Just in my head.
Bet you're wondering how this all came about? Well, Monday was my first day on the job as Assistant Editorial Page Editor at the local newspaper. And I truly can't remember the last time I was so proud of myself. Today while discussing my first week my boss said that he was amazed at how smoothly I fit in and I couldn't help but grin, I was thinking the same thing - it was like putting on an old shoe. And while that might seem strange to any man reading this, all my ladies will know exactly what I mean. I actually dug out an old pair of shoes today, my beloved strappy black heels and I felt like I was walking on air.
Nowhere is ever going to be as vibesy as the Observer, but you know what the News Herald doesn't have to be. My newsroom is the perfect blend of the vibes and streamlined order. Mind you, I also said that the honeymoon period is drawing to an end, so it will be interesting to see what this second week holds.
This all has me thinking how as much as we might try not to, humans do validate their self-worth based on the job they do - men especially. As a wife and mom, I also have another set of criteria and I've got to say, juggling all the various balls is hard work (take your mind out the gutter, it's an expression!).
I just hope that I can find some closure in other areas of my life, well no, just one. It has me feeling quite helpless and at a loss, but working on it is also teaching me a valuable lesson - that some things take time.
No Blogging Allowed
No blogging allowed at work for me ladies and gents, and of course that's perfectly understandable. Some of you may actually look at the timestamp on this blog and say, "Well, hey, why aren't you at work now?" Simple answer, no one is sick. I just had a bunch of appointments that I scheduled all on one day to minimize the time I'm out of office. Naturally, I suffer for any time I don't work because I pull an hourly wage, so next week's pay check is going to be slim.There's always so much that I want to touch on but by the time I get home I'm either too tired or I've forgotten, so here's a snapshot. Biggest news these days: the baby decided it's time to start crawling. She doesn't quite do the right hand followed by left foot deal yet. It's more of a military looking breast stroke but it gets the job done a.k.a. it puts here within reaching distance of whatever caught her eye. She's a peach, actually no, she's allergic to peaches like her Mommy, so she's more like a cute little pumpkin.
Found a good balance this Lent. I'm suffering from giving up going to Sonic but not going so mad that I won't be able to make it. There have been a couple close calls like last Saturday, but I think I'll be able to hang in there until Easter Sunday.
Other things are happening but it's supposed to be a surprise, so I'll leave it at that until after the surprise has happened. I hope everyone's doing well, catch up with you soon.
Ciao.
Oliver Samuels!
Ran into this on a friend's Hi5 page... priceless!
(Part 3 of Guess Who's Coming to Dinner)
(Part 3 of Guess Who's Coming to Dinner)
The Value Of Time
To realize the value of ONE YEARAsk a student who has failed his exam.
To realize the value of ONE MONTHAsk a mother who has given birth to a premature baby.
To realize the value of ONE WEEKAsk an editor of a weekly newspaper.
To realize the value of ONE DAYAsk a daily wage laborer.
To realize the value of ONE HOURAsk the lovers who are waiting to meet.
To realize the value of ONE MINUTEAsk a person who has missed the train.
To realize the value of ONE SECONDAsk a person who has survived an accident.
To realize the value of ONE MILLISECONDAsk the person who has won a silver medal in Olympics.
To realize the value of ONE MICROSECONDAsk a NASA scientist.
And if you still don't realize the value of time you must be a cable installer.
To realize the value of ONE MONTHAsk a mother who has given birth to a premature baby.
To realize the value of ONE WEEKAsk an editor of a weekly newspaper.
To realize the value of ONE DAYAsk a daily wage laborer.
To realize the value of ONE HOURAsk the lovers who are waiting to meet.
To realize the value of ONE MINUTEAsk a person who has missed the train.
To realize the value of ONE SECONDAsk a person who has survived an accident.
To realize the value of ONE MILLISECONDAsk the person who has won a silver medal in Olympics.
To realize the value of ONE MICROSECONDAsk a NASA scientist.
And if you still don't realize the value of time you must be a cable installer.
Mommy's Night Out
I'm still around but now that I have a job (even if it is only a temp one) I've been keeping so busy that blogging definitely has slid down on my list of things to do.
Right alongside baby's many firsts: rolling over, starting solids, sleeping through the night etc... I've realised that there are quite a few 'Mommy Firsts' as well. Aside from the ones to do with mommy-baby bonding (like nursing and cuddling) there are many things that are quite fun to be able to do again. The first one I remember clearly was bundling all my maternity clothes into a bag to be donated. Since I had to wait months to get my other clothes from Jamaica I was in those elephant threads for far too long after Moo was born for my comfort. Other first included the first time I was able to spend a long time away from Moo. That was rough on me because I missed her but it was also liberating in a weird way.
Friday night marked another first: Mommy's Night Out. Two friends and I hit one of the clubs here for Lady's Night. Amazingly enough I was able to fit into one of my pre-preggo going out pants but I did have to get a new top to deal with what little mommy-tummy I've got left. Naturally since I'm in back bush north west Florida there was no dancehall to be heard and the juggling was dismal but I still had fun, after all I didn't have to pay to get in and I drank for free before 12.I know it's not something I'll be doing very often, but it was nice to get out the house and dance and hang out with the girls for a bit.
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