Happiness in marriage is not about finding a spouse who always acts the way we want them to. It is about two imperfect people trusting in a perfect God and conforming to His will and purpose for them. That's a marriage God can bless!
~ Joyce Meyer, Promises for your Everyday Life--A Daily Devotional
I've had a shift in my thinking about marriage. Four years ago, when the ink was drying on my divorce papers, I thought that irreconcilable differences could be avoided if you found the person who made you happy—Mr. or Mrs. Right. As I've been walking with Jesus, I've learned that thinking is about as far from the truth as you can get and still be alive and breathing.
Now I believe marriage hinges on the two things that Jesus said were the greatest commandments: Love God, and love people. Follow my husband as he follows God. Serve and support my husband as God makes him into the mighty man of God he's called to be. Love God, and love people.
Are you still reading?
OK, good because I wouldn't want you to take my paradigm shift to mean that I have no desire for happiness and joy and plan to be some sort of marital martyr.
The plan is that as I love God and love my husband, I'll receive love, too. I haven't experienced this in a marital context (yet!), but I can tell you this works with my daughter. I love and serve her, and she loves and serves me, and we end up unintentionally trying to outdo each other because we're both committed to loving our Lord. (She's seven and very sweet.) I believe wholeheartedly that God's plan for marriage is the same. So I plan to make that a priority when I remarry because for me, God, love, and serving are all essential ingredients for a true happiness in marriage.
Here's a blog with a perspective on marriage that I think you should read: Marriage Isn't For You by Seth Adam Smith. Enjoy!