Your [...] cannot be accepted.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (NIV)
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

I wish I could stick more to the Biblical ideal. I feel like such a failure, always trying my best but always falling short. Always not doing the right thing, always saying it wrong, never able to properly explain, and too slow to understand. Not supportive, not caring, not loving, not sharing, just not doing a good job. Making it worse, adding more stress, and causing more pain. With so many flaws is it fair to doggedly carry on, despite all the hurt, anger, pain, upset, distress, sadness and depression that I apparently cause? Is it fair to say, I ever won't give up, so I don't expect any giving up, despite the hurt, anger and pain. Loss of respect. Respect = dedication and keeping the promise, despite it all, and alot more but that's what comes to mind right now. Patient - not enough; kind - not enough; boast/proud - don't care; not rude - sometimes no control; not self-seeking - not sure of the meaning; not easily angered - anger management needed; keeps no records of wrongs - slate wiping in progress; does not delight in evil - evil sickens; truth - blunt; always protects - when temper in check; hopes/perservers - doggedly; love never fails - it can't, all that's left. Is this normal? My head and eyes hurt, I've just let everyone think I'm worried about my car (how much should an alternator and power steering belt worry one?). I hurt, deep on my stomach, that kind of rolling pain that makes you feel like you want to throw up, or just find a corner and well, give up. Patience. Perseverance. Pride (don't care?). Please. Progress. Passion. Peace. Please. Past. Present. Please.