I feel so down right now. Having Public Speaking for my first ever class was nerve-wracking and depressing. It's one thing to know your weak points, but to have to face them glaringly right-off-the-bat is horrible. Today we had to take about 20 minutes to write a 3 minute speech on a topic that we had seen recently in the media. Not a problem, I work at a media house. I decided to use Kanye West's "Bush doesn't like black people" rip and I dove right in.
Giving the speech was the hard part. To ease my nervousness, I appologised for my squeaky shoes - I'm definitely taking them to be re-heeled this week! - and appologising for anything is apparently a major no-no. Then I apparently folded my arms across my chest, which is a major sign of defensiveness. While receiving this critique, which to be fair was very constructive and not mean, I wanted to scream but I was defending myself from all the concrete faces that were looking back at me! I was a pile of nerves, and I knew it, and it made me uncomfortable, which made me shift from leg to leg, stand akimbo and gesticulate wildly. And J can tell you that wild gesticulations is one of the absolute worst habits that I have, and the more nervous I am, the more wild my gesticulations.
What saved me apparently was my topic and my knowledge of the situation. Working at a media house definitely has its perks, I'd just compiled a 'Hurricane Katrina Did You Know' piece for TA that included statistics from an Associated Press survey, so I had all the relevant facts fresh in my mind. The nicest thing said was when the lecturer made the comment that after I was finished he was thinking that I know my stuff so well that they need to find a way to let me have dual-citizenship and send me off to the States. It was all I could do to just nod and smile, I almost started crying because being able to go back to the States and J would... I'm at a loss for words to describe just how, well how happy that would make me.
So the first day is over. Tomorrow I have Critical Thinking. I'm going to move my behind to the back of the class and shut my mouth. I don't know what I was thinking sitting in the front anyway. I guess I'd forgotten that a different code applies in a Jamaican class room... man, UCU and Holland certainly have made me soft!
- Tags: ucc
- Mood:drained and exhausted
- Music:Johan Gielen - Trance Energy 2003
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