Blog therapy

Ever get the feeling that nothing you do is ever good enough? Most times you can shrug it off though because you know you've done your best. Maybe not shrug it off, but as my Moms used to tell me when my report card would have one or two bad grades, "If you can look me in the eye and honestly say you gave it your best shot and there was nothing else you could do, then that's good enough." So I didn't get a trophy at that last dexterity outing. It still hurts like hell but I could sleep that night because I knew that was the best I've ever driven in my car. I have along way to go with this RWD thing, okay.

But somethings aren't that easy to shrug off. Even though I'm not a teenager any more, even though I know how he treats me is wrong, even though I have a wonderful husband who's shown me what love really is and helped me believe in my own self-worth, this man can still bring me to tears. Although they're more tears of frustration because I'm angry at myself than the tears of despair they once were, they're still tears. Why can't I stop them even when I know that nothing I do will ever be good enough for him? I stopped actively trying to do his version of 'good enough' and started learning to really love myself a couple months back - thank God - so I really hope it's just pregnancy hormones why I still shed these tears.

Ironic isn't it that he's supposedly so concerned that work is stressing me out in this, what he calls my 'delicate', state. Right. That's why when a co-worker asked last month why I'm always working so late I answered that being at work is less stressful than being at 'home'.

Blog therapy. Instant. Helpful. Free.