Memories are like a double-edged sword. I'm back here on the rock with all the memories of my stay with J, being swamped with memories of my Moms. I can't believe it's been three years already since she's been gone. Wednesday was the third anniversary of her death and yesterday would've been her 52nd birthday. Sadly, and I feel it's gotten to the point where a memorian was put in the paper just because it was a duty to be done. Maybe I'm just clinging too tightly to my memories, but I think my Moms deserved better, or maybe not better, but at least more thought? But that's life and I wasn't here - I couldn't bear to be here, actually no April 5 has caught me on this island since 2003 - and so, I suppose I forfeited my input. Maybe I'm just jealous that others have moved on with their lives so completely, while I'm here struggling with feelings of loss and a little bitterness that Moms never saw me graduate, get married or land my first job and will never see the grandchild I'm carrying.
- Mood: sad, lonely
- Music: next door neighbour playing some Bob Marley
2 comments:
As I've come to know you through your blog. I appreciate the honesty that comes through in your words and I'm sure your mother is proud, pleased that she has child who is resilient and will be a mummmy soon. Lo siento.
Thank you JAcutie. I really hope she is, I think she is.
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