Looking in

I'm down and losing faith
I can't catch a breakThat's where I am
And everyday is longer it seems
And I'm losing my dreams
Along the way
The world can be so mean to me...
All I want
So much more
(...)
I'm only one step away
And I'm falling apart
As I walk through the dark
I'm only one step away
I know I'm not blind
But I can't see a future
Unless I change my mind
Unless I decide
That all this comes right down to me...
And tomorrow's new day
And I'm fighting my way back again
As soon as I let me
I'll prove this is all in my head
'cause I want
So much more
(...)
I'm only one step away
And I'm falling apart
As I walk through the dark
I'm only one step away

"One Step Away"

Sometimes song lyrics help when you don't know what to say.

• Music: Apologize - Timbaland f. OneRepublic

Looking out

Lots of things have caught my attention this week, I'll start with the most recent:

• The news coming out of Myanmar this week touched me more deeply when I realized that the junta took over there the same year that Jamaica gained Independence. Stop and think about that for a second, if you're a Jamaican really think. That means that as we've struggled to build our country and our government these past years rebuilding after hurricanes, having elections, dealing with violence, making mistakes and restructuring after financial crises — half the world away another country has been living under military rule. According to a CNN.com article Myanmar has been cut off from the Internet. I can't imagine that happening in Jamaica today, at all. I mean look what happened when the government tried to throw on that 30% gas tax back in '99? We hear about limits on Internet access that exist in China, but when you couple this with the various reports of human rights violations with monks it makes you realize just how polarized rights and freedoms are across the world. I wonder if the demonstrators in Jena, La. thought about that?

• Actually, the town that I live in now is being portrayed as Jena II by some of the folks down in south Fla. The trial of the eight boot camp instructors and one nurse charged with criminal culpability in the death of Martin Lee Anderson starts this coming Wednesday. I already saw a Court TV broadcast truck when I drove past the Juvenile Justice court house on my way home yesterday. I don't even know where to start explaining what the case is about, but what disturbs me the most is the state governor's involvement and how he appears to have come down in favor of one medical examiner's autopsy over another's, to the point of discrediting the first. The first autopsy found that Anderson died from sickle cell trait complications, the second that he suffocated from being forced to inhale ammonia. Now the first examiner is being railroaded by the state (IMHO) even though other pathologists have come out saying that the second ME's cause of death has never happened before. I guess I'm shocked because this is supposed to be the country where things like this don't happen. It's supposed to be truth and justice, impartial and fair. But as we Jamaicans say: see me and come live with me a two different things.

• Lastly, congrats to my best friend and her husband on the birth of baby Matther and to my neighbors on the birth of baby Brycie. Now I can see why women catch "baby fever" — babies are cute! But at the same time, I don't miss the endless diaper changes and wee-hours-of-the-mornings feedings. Check me back when they start walking! :-)

"Love in the Age of Texting"

Saw this on the news wire here at work and thought it was very interesting.

Rule of Thumbs: Love in the Age of Texting
By Natalie Y. MooreSunday, September 16, 2007

I once had a boyfriend who was Mr. Text-o-Rama.
He never wanted to talk, but he always wanted to text. To him, the only way to communicate was via thumb.

I remember a Saturday afternoon I spent with a female friend when I didn't have my cellphone handy. By the evening, I had a logjam of text messages from him. The final mess of a message inquired whether our relationship was over because of my "lack of communication."
I called him. He didn't answer.

Click here to read the rest.

Go, go walking baby!

Need I say more? :-)

Amy Winehouse

I love this girl's music so much. Such great throwback tunes. I just hope she doesn't self destruct before we can at least get another album out of her! For once, my favorite song on an artist's album ends up being the next video...

My Tears Dry on Their Own


Back to Black (Awesome song. This should be the next U.S. release)


F--- Me Pumps (I think this is so witty, it's hilarious!)


You Know I'm No Good (Has a nice remix with Ghostface Killa as well)


Rehab (The one that started it all for me)

Abigail Morgan

I'm not sure if I've ever blogged about her before, but Abigail Morgan is the granddaughter of my co-worker who recently lost her battle with cancer. She wasn't even a year and a half old and in fact had spent her first birthday in hospital recovering from chemo. Her parents started a Caring Bridge website (http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/abigailmorgan) that I signed up at to receive updates on how Abby was doing. Seeing what they were going through helped change the way that I related to Moo. No matter how short time was after work, no matter how much house work or home work I had to do and most importantly no matter how fussy Moo was or how much she made me want to scream and run away, since learning about Abby I've thanked God for my baby's life. Every day with her is a blessing and she's a miracle.

One of the most profound things was also the strength of Abby parent's faith. Even now they are able to celebrate that Abby is pain free and singing praises to her father in heaven. I honestly don't know if I'd have that strength, especially knowing how far from my faith I turned after my mother died, to lose my child would be devastating. It truly is amazing the way they have kept it together for their older child Ellie, who often asks why Abby doesn't need her car seat anymore, and also for their other baby, on the way. Truly inspirational. In today's world where parents can be self absorbed as to forget their children in the car on a summer's day, we could all take a page from the Morgan's book and learn patience, caring and loving humility.